Why Smartphones Are Ruining Your Life and How to Regain Control
In today's digital age, our smartphones have become indispensable. But have you ever wondered how they might be affecting your life? In this article I explore the negative impacts of smartphone use and offer practical tips to regain control of your life.
Here are the top 5 ways to live your best life:
As soon as you wake up in the morning, look at your phone.
Check your work emails as soon as possible, regardless of whether you can do anything about them.
Fill whatever spare time you have by engaging with strangers’ opinions on social media.
Surround yourself with as much bad news from around the world as you can, all day, every day.
Turn on phone notifications to make sure you don’t miss out on any of the above even when you’re not using your phone.
While these habits might seem harmless, they can have significant impacts on our well-being. And if it sounds like I’m judging, I’m not. I am as guilty of the above issues as anyone. Technology has so consumed our everyday life we barely even see it as technology any more. It is an extension of ourselves.
If you think I’m being melodramatic, imagine someone steals your phone. It fills you with dread, right? It’s how we connect with others, understand what is going on in the world. Your contacts, photos, calendar, all stored there. You want to go somewhere? It’s almost impossible to get there without your phone. You want to buy something? Only 12% of people in the UK use cash anymore. You want an answer to almost literally any question in the world? You can find out in an instant. In fact, according to my website analytics, 70% of you reading this right now are doing so on a phone. Smartphones are an incredible invention that have added some real, definitive, tangible benefits to our lives.
But they are not “us”.
In fact, even though smartphones are so ubiquitous we can’t imagine a time without them, the first smartphone (as we know them today) is only 17 years old. Even the internet has only become indispensable to the average person’s life this century. Only 0.000004% of human existence has included internet usage.
If this seems like an odd thing to point out, it really does matter. For the rest of the 99.999996% of human existence we didn’t have instant access to the answer to every question imaginable. We couldn’t contact anyone on the planet with a click of a button. We evolved to be the species we are without the benefits and limitations of smartphones, social media, and 24-hour news coverage at our fingertips.
It means we aren’t designed to live in the smartphone age. What our phones and the internet have provided us with is a world of instant dopamine hits, which is something completely alien to the majority of humankind throughout history. We’re not wired to be able to withstand the possibility of constant, fleeting pleasure, and it damages our ability to function at even the most fundamental level.
“What our phones and the internet have provided us with is a world of instant dopamine hits, which is something completely alien to the majority of humankind throughout history.”
As evidence of this, a Swiss professor by the name of Christian Lüscher carried out a study whereby mice were given access to a button that provided an optical sensor that activated their dopamine neurons. The mice soon began to focus on pressing the button at the expense of every other facet of their lives. As Lüscher explained, “If after two hours we didn’t take them out of the cage, they wouldn’t eat, they wouldn’t drink, then they’d probably die quickly, but very happily.”
I am pained to admit that I am old enough to remember a time before computers and the internet in every house. Once it had become the norm, the internet existed in a corner of the house. You had to turn on the computer, wait for it to load, make sure no-one else was on the phone (and if they were, wait for them to finish their call), then wait the eternity that was the dial-up ringtone, and then access the internet. If you needed to do something other than browse the internet, such as use the toilet, eat, or go to bed, you left the internet behind you when you went.
In other words, the internet used to have a physical location where it could be consumed. This is no longer the case. Back then, we went to the internet. Now, the internet comes to us. That is a substantial shift in human experience.
“Back then, we went to the internet. Now, the internet comes to us. That is a substantial shift in human experience.”
It’s the same situation with news. The news used to exist in a physical location. It was on the television, or a radio, or a newspaper. If your only news came from the TV, it came on at specific parts of the day. It wasn’t always there, following us around. We didn’t develop with the capacity to handle, in our moments of apparent “relaxation”, constantly accessing every depressing news story on the planet. Our fundamental understanding of what it means to live as a human being has changed substantially over the last 20 years, and we aren’t designed for such rapid change in how we experience everyday life.
I also remember a time before I could contact everyone I know with a few taps of a screen. Without meaning for this article to descend into an episode of “back in my day”, there was a time where if I wanted to connect with someone, I’d meet them in person. If I couldn’t meet them in person, we would talk on the phone. We would be away from distractions, away from other challenges. In that moment it would be me, and the other person. We would have a genuine, authentic connection. How often do we truly experience authentic connections any more? The truth is, not as much as we used to, and not as much as we need.
“How often do we truly experience authentic connections any more? The truth is, not as much as we used to, and not as much as we need.”
This isn’t a rose-tinted glasses reflection on how “things used to be better back in the day”, because in countless ways they were not. But it's worth noting that I’m not talking of a time long ago either. This isn’t ancient history; this was 20 years ago. That’s a period of time 70% of today’s population were around for. That is real, substantial, fast change.
But why does this matter?
As a Stress Management Coach, a lot of people come to me because they feel overwhelmed by day-to-day life. They feel that their stress levels are controlling them, rather than the other way around. They sometimes feel like their life is no longer their own, or that they “can’t keep up”.
“As a Stress Management Coach, a lot of people come to me because they feel overwhelmed by day-to-day life. They feel that their stress levels are controlling them, rather than the other way around.”
They are not alone. Studies have shown that 1 in 5 people in the UK feel stressed every day. 63% feel stressed at least weekly, which has doubled in the last six years. 79% of people feel stressed at least once a month. And if you’re wondering whether being stressed is a problem, according to a study by the Priory 51% of adults who feel stressed also report feeling depressed, and 32% of adults have experienced suicidal thoughts due to stress. Stress is an epidemic. There is no doubt of that.
The internet, smartphones and social media are not solely to blame for this, but they are a contributing factor that we can control. We can’t make them go away altogether, but we can diminish our reliance on them without significantly decreasing the quality of our lives. In fact, decreasing our smartphone usage will likely improve the quality of our lives; a 2018 study showed that by decreasing phone use by just one hour a day for a week participants demonstrated fewer depressive and anxiety symptoms, less problematic use tendencies, and better life satisfaction.
“a 2018 study showed that by decreasing phone use by just one hour a day for a week participants demonstrated fewer depressive and anxiety symptoms, less problematic use tendencies, and better life satisfaction.”
So if we want to get better control of our lives, a good place to start is getting control of our phone usage. Become a discerning gatekeeper for what you allow in to your life.
Below are 10 tips for using your phone less. All of these tips are simple to put in place and, when you think about it, have almost no negative impact to the quality of your life.
Use an alarm clock rather than your phone to wake up
Read a book before bed rather than looking at your phone
Leave your phone out of reaching distance from your bed so you aren’t tempted to look at it first thing in the morning or last thing at night
Leave your charger out of reach of areas you’d like to use your phone less
Leave your phone behind when you eat meals or go to the toilet
Turn off notifications for everything other than the essentials (and even then, be discerning over what you consider “essential”)
Delete apps that you know are time or wellbeing drainers
Meet people in person or speak on the phone, rather than messaging
Use filters that set the colour scheme to grey, to make your phone less appealing
Set a screen time limit on your phone
Gaining control over our lives is the key to limiting stress and living the type of life we want to live. There are many ways you can do this, but taking control of your phone usage may prove to be one of the most impactful small changes you can make. As one of my clients said to me when she began implementing small changes towards a more balanced life, “you have given me my life back.”
Top three takeaways:
Mindful Phone Usage: Recognise the impact of smartphones on your mental health and take proactive steps to reduce screen time. Simple changes, like using an alarm clock instead of your phone, can make a big difference.
Prioritise Real Connections: Make an effort to connect with people in person or through phone calls rather than relying solely on messaging. Building genuine relationships can significantly reduce stress and improve overall well-being.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for phone usage, such as designated phone-free times and turning off non-essential notifications. This can help you regain control over your time and reduce feelings of being overwhelmed.
Are you looking to make changes to the quality of life? Are you tired of stress controlling you, rather than you controlling it? Book your free, no obligation Discovery Call using this link today!