Overcoming Burnout: 6 Practical Steps to Reclaim Your Wellbeing
In this article, I share the practical steps that helped me recover from severe burnout. From accepting the reality of burnout to seeking professional help, these tips are designed to guide you on your path to recovery. If you're already in the depths of burnout, know that there is a way out, and I'm here to help you navigate it.
My last article shared how to avoid having a nervous breakdown. But what if it’s too late?
I’ve been overwhelmed by the response to my article on my nervous breakdown. I’ve received such incredible messages of support, but also a surprising number of messages from people who said the article resonated with them. The sheer volume of people who have either been through burnout, are going through it, or feel like they are about to, has shocked me.
My previous article was a deeply personal journey through my breakdown, but I tried to keep it practical for others. I truly believe my breakdown was preventable, but I didn’t heed the warning signs. Our bodies are smarter than we give them credit for. We sometimes see them as anchors that slow us down, but in reality, they tell us where our limits are. Ignoring those limits come with consequences. I wish I hadn’t.
Read more: From Burnout to Balance: My Journey Through a Nervous Breakdown and How You Can Avoid It
That article focused on preventative measures. I believe in the value of getting ahead of a problem, but sometimes it’s too late to prevent something from happening. Sometimes we have to overcome the consequences of our actions. Sometimes we can’t prevent burnout, because we’ve already experienced it.
That’s what this article is about.
While the previous article focused on what I wish I had done differently, this one is more focused on what I did do to recover from it. This isn’t to suggest that these steps will necessarily help you, because you’re not me. But I know from my experience I felt so lost when I had my breakdown. It took me months to know where to even start with my recovery. I’d have loved to hear practical advice from someone who had been through one themselves.
“I know from my experience I felt so lost when I had my breakdown. It took me months to know where to even start with my recovery. I’d have loved to hear practical advice from someone who had been through one themselves”
With that in mind, here are my 6 tips for how I recovered from my nervous breakdown:
1. Accept that it’s happened
With hindsight, perhaps the most surprising aspect of going through burnout was how in denial I was. It wasn’t that I didn’t think I was on the path to burning out, but rather, that I thought I’d never actually get there. And then I did.
Even after I’d burned out, I still couldn’t fully accept it. My brain couldn’t relax enough to admit that I was going through a breakdown and I needed to rest. My wife recently reminded me of the time I was horizontal on the sofa, feeling so low on energy I couldn’t so much as lift my head, telling her that I felt like I was making a big deal out of nothing and I was really fine.
“My wife recently reminded me of the time I was horizontal on the sofa, feeling so low on energy I couldn’t so much as lift my head, telling her that I felt like I was making a big deal out of nothing and I was really fine”
That’s why it’s so important to admit when it’s happened. As long I was trying to convince myself that this wasn’t real, I couldn’t find a way out of it. Frankly, ignoring all the obvious signs and trying to carry on anyway was how I got there in the first place. Once I started accepting what had happened, that opened up a route back out of it again.
Question for reflection: Can you truly continue as you are now, or is it time to acknowledge the need for change?
2. Start making deposits towards your wellbeing
I’ve come to view my wellbeing like a bank account. If I continually make withdrawals from my bank without ever making any deposits, I’ll end up in debt.
“I’ve come to view my wellbeing like a bank account. If I continually make withdrawals from my bank without ever making any deposits, I’ll end up in debt.”
If you found yourself in the situation where you never added any money to your bank account and continually bought things you didn’t need, you would eventually hit your overdraft limit. You would know that you’d have to stop, think about your options, cut out unnecessary spending, and find a way to start bringing more in. You might ask others for help, even temporarily. You would rationally know that your circumstances weren’t sustainable, and find a way, any way, to try and improve your situation. You wouldn’t start spending more money on things you didn’t need in the hopes it might all go away.
For some reason, we don’t treat our bodies with the same compassion that we show our financial situation. My burnout felt like I made a lot of small withdrawals over a long period of time. I completely stopped making any deposits whatsoever, and once I ended up in debt, I started spending more. Eventually I hit my limit, and my body said, “enough”.
If you’ve found yourself at the maximum debt your wellbeing bank will allow, it’s a sign that it’s time to stop making withdrawals, and start making some deposits.
Question for reflection: Are you making enough deposits in to your wellbeing bank account to allow you to live a healthy life?
3. Find your stretch zone
So how, exactly, do we make deposits in to our wellbeing bank?
To work that out, we need to find out why we keep making withdrawals in the first place, and why we end up in debt. Burnout often occurs because we spend too much time in our “Stress Zone”. We might be spending too much time doing activities that overwhelm us, or have a continued need to prove ourselves to others. To balance that out, we often try to retreat to our “Comfort Zone”. This is a place of security and familiarity, which is a good thing. We often need that. But if you spend too long there, you’ll quickly find yourself unsatisfied. I know if I spend too much time in my Comfort Zone I start to get antsy. Familiarity breeds contempt, as they say.
“Burnout often occurs because we spend too much time in our “Stress Zone”. We might be spending too much time doing activities that overwhelm us, or have a continued need to prove ourselves to others. To balance that out, we often try to retreat to our “Comfort Zone”. (…) But if you spend too long there, you’ll quickly find yourself unsatisfied”
This means it’s easy to find ourselves in a situation where we are whiplashing between being overstimulated and understimulated. We are never healthily stimulated.
Healthy stimulation occurs in the “Stretch Zone”. This falls between the Comfort Zone and the Stress Zone. It’s here that we carry out activities that might feel slightly daunting or mildly uncomfortable, but achievable. In the weeks after my breakdown truly hit, my Comfort Zone would have been staying at home seeing no-one at all. That would have been underwhelming. My Stress Zone would have been meeting up with a large group of people I didn’t know. That would have been overwhelming. But meeting up with someone I know one-on-one? That was just the right distance outside my Comfort Zone, while remaining eminently doable.
The Stretch Zone is unique to you. Maybe it’s listening to new music instead of the same music you always turn to. Maybe it’s going to the cinema instead of watching an old favourite on Netflix. I can’t tell you what will be in your Stretch Zone. But what I can say is if it feels a little scary without feeling impossible, it might be worth giving it a go. It might just give you the buzz you’re looking for.
Question for reflection: What activities could you engage in that would place you in your “Stretch Zone”?
4. The importance of nourishment
One of the most important learnings on my burnout recovery journey, and especially in identifying what would work as deposits in to my wellbeing bank, was when I started thinking of activities in terms of whether they were “nourishing” or not.
We understand the concept of nourishment from a food perspective, and it applies to how we use our energy too. If we eat junk food every night for dinner, it might feel good in the moment, but it’ll leave us unsatisfied soon after, and probably searching for more junk food to fill that hole. If we choose to have a fresh, healthy, homecooked meal instead, it might be more work and might take longer, but the result is we’ll likely feel more satisfied afterwards. Our body will feel more replenished by having a selection of healthy ingredients and a variety of food groups.
“If we eat junk food every night for dinner, it might feel good in the moment, but it’ll leave us unsatisfied soon after (…) If we choose to have a fresh, healthy, homecooked meal instead, it might be more work and might take longer, but the result is we’ll likely feel more satisfied afterwards”
Like with our Stretch Zone, what falls under wellbeing nourishment is unique to us. I know that cinema trips, browsing bookshops, and playing drums are nourishing for me. So too is experiencing other people’s creativity, and doing activities with friends and family. That won’t necessarily be the case for you. You have to find your own nourishing activities.
But I can take a good guess at what some of the biggest examples of your “wellbeing junk food” might be, though. It’s likely the same as for me:
My phone
Social media
The comments section on articles
Clickbait
Sensationalism
24/7 news coverage
Endless scrolling
“Guilty pleasure” television
Celebrity culture
Senseless video games
None of these things are “bad”, and I’m not judging anyone who uses them. I use a lot of them myself, and don’t intend to cut them out altogether. I love video games. Clickbait almost always catches me out. I can endlessly scroll on my phone with the best of them. These things aren’t any more “bad” than junk food is “bad”. We don’t need to cut them out altogether, it’s just best consumed as part of a balanced, nourishing diet.
Question for reflection: What activities do you find nourishing and how can you incorporate more of them into your life?
5. Pace yourself
There’s a contradiction in the nature of burnout. It leaves us without energy and needing rest, but we got there by training ourselves to push through a lack of energy and not take enough rest. So intense can the internal pressure to prove yourself, to keep going, to never let a single plate stop spinning, that the idea of “resting” can somehow feel like a luxury.
One day I re-encountered the concept of “pacing myself”, and that language resonated with me. I found it hard to “rest”, especially with a young family and a desire to not be a burden on anyone. But pacing myself? That I can do. If I was running a marathon I’d find it hard to “rest”, but I’d absolutely understand the need to pace myself. In fact, I’d see it as a prerequisite of finishing the marathon; I wouldn’t be able to run 26 miles at full speed, and I’d be foolish to even try.
“If I was running a marathon I’d find it hard to “rest”, but I’d absolutely understand the need to pace myself. In fact, I’d see it as a prerequisite of finishing the marathon; I wouldn’t be able to run 26 miles at full speed, and I’d be foolish to even try.”
Once I started focusing on my need to pace myself rather than take rests, it no longer felt like a luxury I couldn’t afford. I ended up taking more rests, because I’d lost the stigma of doing so. It’d be nice to live in a world where that stigma doesn’t exist, but if you’re in the middle of a nervous breakdown now isn’t the time to change the world’s perception on wellbeing. Now is the time to find language that helps you show yourself the compassion you so clearly need.
Question for reflection: Are you able to pace yourself effectively through your life obligations, or do you need to adjust your approach?
6. Get help
When you think about it, reaching the point of burnout is almost completely illogical. No-one ever suddenly finds themselves burnt out. It’s never a surprise. You’re on a path that you know is wrong, but you somehow can’t stop yourself either. Your body says it’s had too much, but your brain convinces you to keep on going. You are essentially working against yourself.
This is why trying to battle burnout alone is so hard. If you could overcome burnout by yourself, you’d have stopped yourself before you got to the point of burning out in the first place. The fact that you didn’t shows what a mountain this is to climb, and how hard you’ve found it to climb alone. You’ve reached your own personal Everest, so find a Sherpa to help you climb it.
“If you could overcome burnout by yourself, you’d have stopped yourself before you got to that point. The fact that you didn’t shows what a mountain this is to climb, and how hard you’ve found it to climb alone. You’ve reached your own personal Everest, so find a Sherpa to help you climb it”
I can personally attest to the value in working with professionals to get through my burnout. In fact, a lot of the findings from the previous five tips came from working with a professional. Whether it was a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, a Counsellor, or a Coach (I’ve worked with all three in the last year-and-a-bit), they have provided me with the space to better understand how I ended up where I was, and what I could do to get out of it again. I never stopped being the one doing the climbing, but they helped me work out how I could do it. Without that outside intervention from a neutral, unbiased source, I don’t know that I’d have made the recovery that I have.
If you’re unsure of the differences between coaches, counsellors and therapists, I’ve got an article that can help with that. Read more: Coaching vs Counselling vs Therapy vs Mentoring
Question for reflection: Could working with a professional provide the support you need to overcome burnout?
Those are my six tips for getting through burnout, based on what worked for me. These aren’t hard-and-fast rules that will 100% work for you, for the simple fact that you’re not me. But if you find yourself lost for how to get out of this hole, I hope these tips go some way to helping you plot your way back out.
If anything about this article spoke to you, or if there’s anything about this that you’d like to discuss further, you can contact me using this contact form.
Top Three Takeaways:
Acknowledge and Accept. The first step to recovery is acknowledging and accepting that burnout has happened. Denial only prolongs the suffering. Embrace the reality to start your journey towards a better life.
Take Accountability. Just like a bank account, your wellbeing requires regular deposits. Identify activities that nourish you and make them a priority. Small, consistent efforts can lead to significant improvements in your overall health.
Seek Professional Support. Overcoming burnout is challenging, and you don't have to do it alone. Professional support, such as therapy or coaching, can provide the guidance and tools you need to navigate your recovery effectively.