The rapport you build with your coach is one of the most important aspects of your journey, but it can be hard to know how to find the right coach when getting started. Here are 10 tips to help you make a decision.

Coaching is a fantastic tool, and one that has immeasurably changed my life for the better. But that is only the case because I found a coach that met my needs. That wasn't always the case.

For someone who has such a love for talking services, I've sure spent a lot of time talking to professionals that I didn't work well with. It's not that they were bad coaches or counsellors, just that I never quite clicked with them. Some were recommended to me personally, some seemed to have a background that mirrored mine, some just seemed to have a kind face in their profile picture. But when I began meeting with them, something was just... missing.

That is not an uncommon situation to be in. The reality is you are inviting this individual in to a sensitive, sacred space. These are people with whom you need to feel safe, respected, and challenged. They have the potential to support you through some of the most transformational decisions you will ever make. And yet, you have very little information to go by when deciding who let in to your world. It's no wonder that it can be difficult to decide who to work with, to the extent that you may feel like you don't know where to start.

To help you overcome this, here are my ten tips to help you find the right coach.

1. Make sure you’re ready to be coached

Wanting to be coached and being ready to be coached are, unfortunately, not the same thing. As life-changing as coaching can be, it isn't an easy process. Anything worth having rarely is. But the truth is that this isn't the coach's journey, it's yours. Think of it like having a personal trainer; they can help you reach your fitness goals, but they can't do the workout for you.

Only you will know if you're ready. If you’re not sure, try asking yourself these five questions:

1. Why do I think I need coaching?

2. Why do I think I need coaching right now?

3. Am I prepared to be challenged?

4. Am I ready to make changes?

5. Am I doing this for me, or for someone else?

Knowing the answer to these five questions might move you a little closer to knowing if you're ready to be coached.

2. Work out what you need from your coach

Most coaches are excellent, but that doesn't mean that all of them will fit your specific needs. I have worked with coaches who have come highly recommended, but when I've met with them they've been a little too cold for my liking, and I prefer warmer, softer practitioners. I've also recommended coaches to others, only to find out that they found it hard to connect.

So what do you need your coach to be? Are you looking for someone who is full of energy, or calming? Direct and to-the-point, or kind and compassionate? Focused on the future, or happy to to explore the present? You don't need to have final answers to these questions, and they may change over time, but having a rough idea of your preference before you start searching for a coach will help you sift through the information available to you.

3. Make sure coaching is the talking service you need

I've already written an article on this topic (link below), but it bears repeating at this stage of your journey. Coaching is great, but has a specific set of expertise attached to it. Coaching can help take you from where you are to where you want to go. It can break down your challenges in to small, manageable chunks that take you step-by-step towards the type of person you want to be, and the life you want to lead.

But it's not counselling. A coach can't help you explore past trauma. It's not mentoring either. A coach won't give you answers for your problems based on their own experiences. If your needs don't cover what coaching provides, it may be that it's not what you're looking for. If you're not sure, don't be afraid to ask any prospective clients for their thoughts. I'm happy for you to contact me as well, which you can do at this contact form.

For more information on how to decide between which talking service best suits your needs, check out my article on the differences between them. Read more: Coaching vs. Counselling vs. Therapy vs. Mentoring.

4. Take your time

Deciding to work with a coach can be exciting. Once you start to consider where you might be able to go, you may want to get started right now. But by rushing in to starting your coaching journey, you may be losing valuable reflection time on whether the path you're on is the right one.

It's a mistake I've made in the past, feeling so desperate to make changes that I haven't paused to consider if I'm setting off on the right foot. It's like jumping on the first bus that arrives, rather than checking the routes to make sure it's going where you need it to go. Just because this bus arrived first, doesn't mean it's the quickest way to your destination.

So take your time. Look around at who is available, look at their websites, ask around. Sleep on it. Deciding who is going to help you change your life shouldn't be a quicker decision than what you're going to buy for dinner tonight.

5. Always start with a free Discovery Call

Some coaches call them chemistry calls, some exploration sessions, some introductory meetings. I call mine a Discovery Call (you can see my coaching process on my Services page, you you can access HERE). Whatever they're called, most coaches offer an initial, free conversation with them. You should always take this option.

The discovery call is a critical part of the coaching journey. It is your first chance to meet the coach who may help you change your life. Get to know their tone, their approach. How easy is it for you to build rapport with them? Do you think you'd feel safe with them? This is your chance to ask them any questions that are on your mind, and likewise, they will likely want to ask you questions as well to get to know you better. This is important, because this will be the difference between whether this coach is the one who can help you unlock your potential or not.

I would not recommend working with a coach without an introductory call first, and personally, I have never paid for one. It's a getting to know you exercise, and I don't see value in paying for one. Likewise, I don’t charge for this as a coach, because it’s not something I think should be monetised. The coach will benefit from this session as much as you will, after all.

If you feel like I may be the right coach for you, you can book a free discovery call with me using this contact form.

6. Consider online sessions

I have a confession to make: I was a late adopter of online talking services. I first started working with coaches and counsellors prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, at which point online talking services were quite uncommon. It was only post-pandemic when they became much more frequent that I came to see the value in them.

The main value of an online session is that it provides you access to a far greater volume of practitioners. Previously you would have been limited to those within a couple of miles of you (and not to mention having to factor in additional travelling time to get to them and back), whereas now you have access to every coach and counsellor within several time zones of you. Your chances of finding a coach who clicks with you multiplies almost indefinitely.

Does having online sessions impact the rapport and trust you can build with a coach? It's possible that it may be a little slower than face-to-face, although I’ve personally not found it to be an issue. But for what you gain in access to a higher volume of coaches and the convenience of being able to be coached without leaving your house or place of work, I think it's worth it.

7. Be open-minded

The unfortunate truth is we wouldn't need coaches if our current way of processing the world was working as well as it could be.

It's for this reason that openness is so important to getting the most out of our coaching journey. A good coach isn't someone who says "yes" to your every idea and encourages you to stay on the same path. Coaches are there to challenge your preconceptions, to help you explore why things as they are, and to work out what you could do differently to change them. Coaches can help you pull on an inner strength you didn't know you had, and help adjust your self-esteem to see what is possible. But this can only happen if you are open to being challenged from the very first time you meet.

I can also attest to the value of this from my own life. My very first experience of coaching came many years ago when I thought I needed help with improving my CV. Countless coaches said they'd do that for me, but one challenged why I was focusing on my CV, and not in reflecting on my relationship with work and wider career aspirations. That challenge opened something up in me, and after we began working together I ultimately came to the conclusion that my future was in being a professional coach myself. Had I stayed linear on the need to update my CV, I likely wouldn't be where I am now.

8. Take the plunge

Even with all of the above in mind, ultimately, at a certain point you have to give it a go. It's easy to fall in to analysis paralysis, where you have so many options and so many conflicting ideas that you can't consolidate them in to one coherent decision.

But the reality is is you won't know if a coach is the right fit for you until you start working together. You can do all the preparation in the world, but at a certain point you have to give someone a go and see how it works. Go with your gut, and remember that you can always change your mind later. You're not signing up to work with a coach for the rest of your life, just trying one out right now.

Which brings me to the next tip...

9. Keep an exit plan

Most coaches offer a discount on their pricing if you pay in advance for a certain number of sessions. I do it with my Multi-Session Discount and 6-Month Retainer programmes (you can review my coaching process on my Services page, found HERE). This approach has great value to a client, as it allows them to save money over the long term, and to have something to work towards. If you pay for six sessions in advance, you know that you are committing to that length of time and we can structure the sessions accordingly.

With that said, it's a common mistake to dive in to those deals as soon as you start working together. We all love to save money, and if you're sure you will need at least 6 sessions (and most clients do ultimately having at least that many), then there is absolutely a logic to wanting to take the better price-per-session programme. The challenge is this ties you in to a commitment with a coach before you know for sure they are the right one to meet your needs.

I would always discourage a potential client from taking any of my discounted rates straight away, because you can't yet know if our relationship will work out. This is why I offer a discounted Introductory Call after my Discovery Call, to incentivise prospective clients to not commit until they are ready to do so. I know of people who have loved a coach based on their website and Discovery Call, only to have one session with them and realise it's not going to work. If you've already paid for six sessions with them, you're stuck. Stick to single session to give yourself that flexibility until you're ready to commit.

10. Give feedback

It's never too early to give a coach feedback. While coaches can provide a transformative service, ultimately this is your journey, and you are the one paying the money. It is therefore important that you make sure you are expressing your needs from the moment you start working together.

This can start as early as your Discovery Call. If there is something about the coach that doesn't work for you, let them know. They might be able to adjust their service so they don't do it again. Only by sharing what doesn't work for you can you expect a coach to evolve to be closer to your needs. This can take a coach that you are struggling to connect with to one that helps you find the key to unlock your full potential.

As a final piece of advice (and this is advice that works for all forms of life, not just coaching), don't forget to provide positive feedback as well. If a coach is doing something that works for you, make sure the coach knows this. The coach won't be able to read your mind, so only by communicating "I find value in this part of your service" can the coach know it's important to keep doing it.

I hope you’ve found this list useful. Finding a new coach can feel like a maze, but when you find the right one you’re one step closer to living the life you want to live. Powerful, even transformational, changes are ahead.

Should you still be struggling with finding a new coach, or have any questions based on anything shared here, you can reach me using this contact form, and I’d be happy to talk further.

All the best with your coaching journey!

Top three takeaways:

1. Connection is key: the biggest differentiator between coaches is not how good they are, but how well they match your needs

2. Stay flexible: don’t make any premature commitments, but also be prepared to dive in if it feels right. You’ll never truly know if a coach is right for you until you start working together

3. Share your thoughts: helping your coach to understand what you want them to keep doing, and what they need to start doing differently, can make an enormous difference to the effectiveness of your coaching journey

If you think I might be the right coach for you, check out my Services page to see what I offer.