Are you feeling trapped in your current situation? Feel like you’d like to get help but don’t know where to start? Let’s take a look at which type of talking service might best fit your needs.

Talking services have changed my life.

I strongly believe that there are times where we all need someone to turn to, and I can attest to that first-hand. Throughout my adult life I’ve utilised coaching, counselling, therapy and mentoring, and I’ve found them to be some of the most transformational experiences of my life. I wouldn’t be where I am without them.

The challenge is that it’s not always clear which talking service is the right one for your needs right now. I know from experience that I’ve picked the wrong one at the wrong time, and it’s frustrating when it means you don’t get the results you were hoping for. For instance, when is it coaching that can help you most, and when is it counselling? The lines can sometimes seem blurred.

As a Professional Coach, you’re probably expecting me to say that coaching is always the answer. But that’s not true. Coaching is a wonderful, wonderful process. I wouldn’t have committed my life to it if I didn’t believe in it wholeheartedly. But the reality is that there are times where coaching is the right tool, but others where it absolutely isn’t. And it’s important to understand why that is.

“You’re probably expecting me to say that coaching is always the answer. But that’s not true.”

To help you through this journey, I’ve broken down the four main types of talking services that you are likely to encounter. I’ll explain what they are, and give guidance on when they might work for you, and when they might not. It’s worth noting that there are overlaps and on occasion you might be able to, as an example, get coaching-like support from a counsellor, or mentoring-like support from a coach. But generally speaking, each service has it’s own expertise that requires significant training, and therefore it’s best to use each function for its intended purpose.

But before we begin, remember this critical bit of advice: no type of talking service is better than the other. They all have value. The question should never be “is this service good?”, but “is this service the one I need right now?”

Coaching

What is it: Coaching can be called the bridge between where you are and where you want to be. It can be called the streetlights that illuminate your journey. It can also be called your GPS for how to get to where you want to go. In the very simplest terms, coaching is a tool that helps you identify what you want to change, and helps you make that change. It is mostly a forward-looking process.

When to use it: Coaching is for when you know something about your life isn’t where you want it to be, and want to make changes. You don’t have to know exactly what is wrong or exactly where you want to go, as a coach can help you work that out during your sessions. But you have to be prepared to put plans (however small) in place to start to make changes, and your coach is there to help support you on your way.

When to not use it: If you are looking to process past trauma, are looking for help with mental health conditions such as depression, or are looking to be handed an answer to your problem.

Where can I read more: There are resources for further exploring coaching throughout my website:

• I have a separate page that explains coaching in more detail, including my approach, methodology, and expertise. Read more: What Is Coaching?

• If you think you might be ready for coaching, you can check out my offering on my Services page.

• I also have a separate article providing 10 tips on how to find the right coach. Read more: How To Find The Right Coach

• If you have questions around the coaching experience I’m happy to discuss it further. You can get in touch using my Contact Form.

Counselling

What is it: Counselling is a talking service that helps you understand why things are the way they are. It helps you to look in to the underlying reasons for your current situation, often by diving in to your past to find the root cause. Is it mostly a backwards-looking process.

When to use it: If you are experiencing something traumatic, or feel like your current behaviours or actions are being caused by something from your past. An example of this might be if you experienced trauma or grief that you didn’t manage to fully process at the time, such as death of a loved one, being bullied at school, or experiencing sub-optimum parenting as a child.

When not to use it: If you are hoping to take a step forward in your life, or are hoping to be told on what to do.

Where can I read more: The NHS website has more detail on counselling here.

Therapy

What is it: There are many forms of therapy, but generally speaking it helps you to overcome unhelpful patterns of behaviour that are seriously impacting the quality of your life. Therapy will often include identifying the cause of your situation, but is generally focused on how to get you back out of it. For this reason, it is both a backwards and forwards-looking process, but often forwards.

When to use it: When you are looking to overcome significant mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or disorders. For instance, I found it incredibly impactful for recovering from a nervous breakdown and exhaustion. It can often be more directional than counselling or coaching, with “homework” and advice on what to do next.

When not to use it: If you are looking to make changes but are not in the midst of a serious mental health issue, or if you are looking to spend significant time identifying the root cause of your trauma.

Where can I read more: There are many types of therapy (too many to list and provide links to), but the most commonly known one is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT. The NHS has an article on it here.

Mentoring

What is it: Mentoring is a tool usually provided by someone with greater expertise in a subject that you, and they will share their experience as a means of helping you understand what worked for them. It is most commonly provided by a manager or supervisor at work, but can come in many forms. The mentor is mostly backwards-looking in recalling what has worked for them in the past, but for the mentee, this process is mostly forward-looking at what you will need to do in the immediate future.

When to use it: When you are encountering a specific situation that you don’t have a lot of experience in, and would benefit from someone “showing you the ropes”. An example of this would be when starting a new job, or encountering a new situation such as upscaling your business.

When not to use it: When you are approaching a journey you need to work out yourself. Mentoring involves being handed answers (which can be beneficial when not knowing where to start), but the answers you are being provided with are ones that have worked for someone else, rather than ones you yourself have come up with based on who you are and what you need. It is also not appropriate for exploring past trauma or mental health issues.

Where can I read more: The U.K. government website has more information on mentoring and how it works, and can be found here.

Of course, you don’t have to only ever use one service, because your needs will change over time. I, for instance, have previously gone from therapy, to counselling, to coaching. One helped me understand how to get back on my feet, one helped me understand why I fell in the first place, and the other helped me understand how to start walking forward again by myself. You shouldn’t do more than one service at a time (this can be overwhelming and confusing), but there’s absolutely no reason not to complete a cycle with one service and then switch to another when appropriate.

I hope you found this helpful. It can seem daunting at first, but once you can wrap your head around the differences, the choice becomes much easier. Should you be having any difficulty and are looking for signposting as to which service to try first, I’m happy to be contacted separately. To get in touch, you can click on this link to my Contact Form.

I wish you the best best of luck on your journey!

Top three takeaways:

1. We all need help from time to time: finding a neutral party to help with your problem, whatever it is, can make a life-changing difference

2. Coaching is great, but has specific expertise and outcomes: make sure you understand what kind of help you may need, and make sure you are going to the right type of practitioner to get it

3. No talking service is better, just more appropriate for your circumstances: no talking service can solve every problem, so choosing the right one involves identifying your needs

Has this article helped you to identify coaching as the right service for you? If so, check out my Services page to find out how I can help.